Cat's have nine lives. She doesn't, and I killed her.

Today hasn't been the best of days. It started out well, as I did a good deed and then it went downhill from there. Firstly, I failed my driving test which I was pretty confident about. Then things got exponentially worse. This girl I like, or should I say the girl I like... I couldn't have messed up things any more! We got into this habit of talking indirectly over msn personal messages. I always thought they were a good way of expressing how I felt while at the same time being vague, but it got to the point where we both knew we were talking about each other. I like this girl so much and I was scared that because I’ll be moving back home in a couple of weeks that I wouldn’t get the chance I wanted. So I came right out with it. I asked where things are heading. And being my idiotic self I took her answer as negatively as I could interpret it. Not such a good idea. Now I’m making matters worse by thinking it's gone forever and I’ve gotten myself all worried now. With good reason I think! But the point is I fucked up badly. It's a weird thing to say, but I think there are a lot of blink 182 songs that can sum up how I feel better than I can. I hope I haven’t messed things up, even though I’ve learnt my lesson too late. I know we both mean a lot to each other and she was right all along when she said take it slow and go with the flow. But I just didn’t know how much time we had. More then than I do now.